They absorb the good and the bad.

I was having a discussion with my son last night and, while I can't remember what was said, I stopped dead in my tracks when he gave me the raised eyebrow, head wag that I've been known to do on a more than frequent basis. Yes, we had been teasing each other; and yes, it was adorable. But that look...my look...was also way too much attitude for a four year old.

I didn't scold him or get overly serious with him. I know it's all my fault. I know I'm full of attitude toward his father and him and everyone else he's probably witnessed me speaking to. And I immediately felt incredibly guilty for turning my son into that side of me. (who I generally think is funny but dances on both sides of the line between fun and rude)

Two hours later, I was helping him get ready for bed. I was exhausted. So I laid in his bed and started asking about his day again. We had a nice little chat and he took his spot next to me. A few minutes later, my son started rubbing my back and telling me that I could sleep in his bed if I wanted to.

I was immediately reminded of how soft-hearted he is...twice as much as he ever has attitude...and I felt really proud to have played a role in this side of him as well. Although I believe this side of him is less learned and more just a gift. He's always been a cuddler, a kisser, a people person. My daughter on the other hand...well, that's for another time anyway.

Last night's little encounters have got me thinking today. About whether or not, and to what extent we parents instill in our children. Over and over I see my mannerisms in my children, and yet, they have their own twist to those behaviors. It amazes me just as much as it scares me into rethinking how I act.

But if I change how I act, do I ultimately become someone I'm not?

Sometimes our children are a reflection of their parents.

Father's Day is this weekend. I have no gift. No cool craft ideas for my kids. But I did at least make the effort to invite my son to brainstorm gift ideas. Here's how the conversation went...

Me: Hey Bubs, we need to get dad a gift this weekend. Any ideas?
Him: Why we need to get him a gift?
Me: It's Father's Day...when we all show daddy how much we love him and thank him for being so great. We should get him a little gift.
Him: Okay. How 'bout a gun.
Me: Umm...I know he'd like one but what else do you have?
Him: How 'bout cupcakes and a gun? Or two guns?
Me: Well, guns are pretty expensive and I wouldn't know which one to get.
Him: A black one.

Needless to say, that pretty much ended the conversation. He still believes that Saturday we're going into the city to buy a gun (or two) for daddy, along with cupcakes. Little does he know only one of those items might actually make it home.

Lesson learned: my son, at the age of four, knows way too much and is way too comfortable with the idea of guns. The bright side: he knows exactly what his daddy would want.

Love knows nothing about age.

Two weeks ago I witnessed my son's first love and very first loss. It was an amazing experience.

It was just the second wedding reception my son has ever been to. And maybe I should have seen what was coming when a) he asked me to style his mohawk, b) asked over and over and over what time the "dance party" was going to start, or c) when I saw him see her for the first time that evening.

It was the definition of love at first sight. Before I could say or do anything, the two of them were dancing. Holding hands during the slow songs; shaking their booties during the fast ones.


At one point, I was in the bathroom changing my daughter's diaper when I heard these two little voices in the doorway:
Her: Just stand right here and wait for me. I just have to go potty. Just wait here.
Him: Okay. I won't leave.

Sounds like I had better work on helping him "man up" a little already...

After many pictures and even more comments from friends, family and complete strangers about how cute it was and how much of a player my son is already, I was informed that it was over. Their love ended just as dramatically as it had began.

She poked him in the eye.

He punched her back.

The end...for now.