Wednesday, December 26, 2012

imagination is one of our most precious assets.

Last winter I bought an Elf on the Shelf. But we didn't get it out. I didn't even read the book. So this year I was determined to see how my kids would react and if they would believe. We got a late start. It was about 10 days before Christmas and we were heading out the door to go pay a visit to Santa at the local fire hall. I ran inside quickly to get our elf and his book out to surprise the kids when we got home. I had told them that Santa is incredibly busy and they have been questionable in their behavior so it may be a good time to ask Santa to send an elf to our home...you know, as an extra set of eyes on my kids. The plan worked beautifully. We got home, they saw the elf immediately (although they touched him just as immediately, which we later found out ruins his magic). We read the book, they named him Louis Spark and we were in business. Day 1: Caden watched Louis throughout the day. He swears he moved his legs, even switched positions. The classic line: Mom, he had his legs crossed. How did he do that when I've been watching this whole time? At one point, Caden even hid behind a wall to peer over the side in an effort to catch Louis in the act of moving. Cali just kept repeating that she loves Louis... Day 2: Louis moved from the TV console table to the antique cabinet in the dining room. More excitement and watching took place. Careful examination, I should say. Day 3: He returned to our home and made a place for himself on the wine rack in the kitchen. Again, he moved when the kids weren't watching. They're pretty sure he has a taste for mom's Cabernet. Day 4: Louis snuck off and hid in the Christmas tree. They couldn't figure out how he was holding on but he stayed in there all day long. Day 5: Louis returned to the kitchen, this time he laid with his hands behind his head on top of the apples. He looked pretty cozy and the kids giggled when they saw him. Day 6: Louis was found the next morning hugging a framed picture of Caden and Cali. They were sure it was a sign that he loves them (and thinks they're pretty good kids.) Day 7: Louis didn't move very far. He got caught in the cupboard above the microwave. Caden and Cali were sure it was hurting his legs but he seemed not to mind too much. Day 8: Right before Christmas, Louis found our other Christmas tree and snuggled up in the branches. He must have been looking at all of our memorable ornaments! Day 9: On his last day at our home, Louis embraced the countdown snowman that sits in the living room. He wanted to be sure that the kids knew it was his last day until next year. They blew kisses, told him they love him and wished him a Merry Christmas before going to bed. I wish I could put into words the genuine love and full belief my children had in Louis the elf, as well as Santa. Their excitement is something I crave to experience one last time, and I am appreciative for the opportunity to see it glimmer in their eyes.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

love is fragile at any age.

My son just wrapped up his first year of school. I'm officially the mother of a first grader...it's been a beautiful experience watching him learn and grow. I love watching him learn how to read especially. So serious. So determined. It's amazing. His school subjects aren't the only learning he's been doing this year. He has gained some pretty terrific friends. He's been learning about the pros and cons of hanging with older kids; with bigger kids and tougher kids. He's been hurt, he's seen success, he's found a few awesome kids to look up to. He's also been introduced to the idea of girls and love. He covers his eyes when people kiss and hug on TV but he never hesitates to tell me he loves me or give me a hug. The last week of school, Caden was invited to a classmate's birthday party. It was a girl...THE girl he's been talking about all year. At first, he told me that the rule of the party is that the birthday girl chose a boy and a girl who have to kiss (a little young, right-we played this game in fifth grade I think). Caden was to kiss the birthday girl. He told me this was top secret information. And that he told her he's never kissed a girl. When I said, "What about me?" he immediately replied that "that's different mom". Oh no, my son, at the tender age of six understands the difference between loving his mother and another girl! I had to take a moment to absorb this information. The party came and he was upset because another rule was that everyone was to go home and change out of their school uniforms and into their best clothes for the party. Keep in mind, it was ninety degrees that day and the wind was blowing at like 30 mph. I told him I wasn't driving an extra half hour to have him change and he freaked, but shortly got over it. There was no kissing at the party (sigh of relief by all). However, when I picked him up after the last day of school, he seemed down. Not only was this little girl moving many states away this summer, he had other news. The school had walked many blocks away to play at a park and have a sack lunch. On the way back, my son and this girl held hands (Caden has said many times how much he'll miss her). His friends gave him a hard time about loving this girl. Caden looked at me sadly and said, "Mom, just because we hold hands, that doesn't mean I'm in love with her. She's my friend and friends can hold hands." What a proud moment. I responded by telling him that showing affection or showing that you care for someone is never wrong. There's nothing wrong with holding hands with a friend. Especially one who is scared to move and worried about making new friends. She probably needed a good friend and I'm so glad that my son was there. I know I've said this a million times before...I have no doubt that my son will have his heart broken by a million girls over the years because he is SUCH a lover, but I would rather he have too big of a heart than not having one at all...

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Maybe I'm not always wrong.

I've never been much of a gamer. As a kid we only owned Mario Brothers and Duck Hunter...and I'm not sure it was worth the money. When I got married and we found out we were going to have a baby, I promised that our children would live as we did. They would build forts, play ball, make up games and not sit in front of some gaming device all day long.

Well, my son is six and we just purchased a Wii. My change of heart was about winter and staying active indoors. It came with a dance game...that's really REALLY fun. So I was feeling pretty confident about our new gaming system.

That's were I screwed up. In my new-found gamer excitement, I purchased a game that has something like 20 different games to play. They range from table tennis to bowling to darts. And now my son begs me to play. From the moment he gets home from school until bath time. And he cries and flails around and screams like a youngster verging on the dreaded three's. When I (and yes, I realize we all become our parents at some point) tried to explain that when I was a kid we made up games and played by ourselves and were rarely entertained by our parents or some game device, he looked at me like I was speaking another language. He refused to play anything else or dig through his toys. And chose to sit and pout until bedtime.

I know this will pass. I know the games will get dull. But I never thought in a million years that at six years old, I would have to take games away or set limits on how much game time my children could have.

If only imagination came with a battery!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

They're watching us just as closely...if not closer...than we are of them.




Much to my delight, my three year-old daughter is a girly-girl. The moment she gets home from day care, she strips down to her panties and goes in search of a dress worthy of dancing in. (Lately, this has led to her wearing a flower girl dress from earlier this summer...it was white at one time.)

She loves Barbies, which was one of my favorite pastimes as a young girl. We dance like it's going out of style. She loves to brush her hair and wear lipgloss. The list goes on.

But while I often feel she's so caught up in being a girl, I have more often been bit by her keen remembrance of what her mother says and how she acts.

Just this past week, I heard her following her daddy around the house as he was moving some heavy furniture. She would call after him, "You know you're going to hurt yourself," or "Let me go in front of you daddy," as she wedged herself between the wall and whatever it was that he was moving. As she gabbed-and crabbed-at him, she never once stopped to let him react. Class mommy move.

Another fine example occurred this morning shortly after we got home from church. I was crabby at her father already and grumbled the entire time I made HIM breakfast. While he searched the TV for an old Western, my daughter caught me calling him a lazy ass. For the next five minutes, she strolled in and out of the living room asking daddy if he was going to get off of his lazy ass...and by the way, mommy's the one who said it. Her brother and I ended up repeatedly asking her to stop using potty language.

While I do correct her for some of the behavior, I mostly find myself finding a corner of the house where I can smile or laugh for a moment at how wonderful it is to have the opportunity to see myself in someone else. No matter if she's learning good or bad traits, it's a pretty amazing feeling.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Their love is pretty darn great (as in the size)...

Last week school started back up for the second semester. It was bittersweet dropping my son off as we all enjoyed the extra time together (although the evenings got a little out of control). For whatever reason, I didn't just pull away from the curb after he hopped out. This time, I sat there for a few seconds to watch him with his friends. But instead of seeing them all freaking out about getting together after two weeks apart, I caught him looking back at me.

One thing you have to understand is that my son...my beloved first born...has these amazing eyes. Not only are they as large and round as his head, they are also the warmest shade of brown and surrounded by the longest, softest lashes I have ever seen. (Yes, I also realize I'll be paying for this as soon as he becomes interested in girls). So even after he gave me the usual "I love you too mom" smile when he hopped out of the van, he turned back a few steps in. I smiled, he grinned and it was like we shared this secret mother-son moment where all was right in the world. He's never been naughty and I've never screwed up as a parent.

Although we were 20 feet from one another at this point, I could feel his love and I'm pretty sure he could feel mine...and that's why I am so blessed to be a parent. There is nothing that even comes close to that feeling, and I'm certain there never will be.