My husband recently changed jobs, which has literally changed the course of our life together. He's gone during the week for training and meetings and then home either during the weekend or for a day here and there. It's draining but I know in the long run it's well worth it.
That being said, I realized this weekend that I've really only been seeing this change as affecting myself and my husband. I knew my kids would miss their dad and they'd be confused but, as usual, I'm blown away by how much they notice, what they pick up on and the types of questions they have.
Last weekend I took the kids back to see my parents. We hadn't been there in quite some time and I also needed to sit down with them and talk through the career change as they historically don't take big news overly well. It turned out to be a wonderful weekend. We talked about all kinds of things and played with my kids; the ideal American weekend if you ask me. My husband joined us part way in and I could see the happiness and love he feels for me and our children. By Sunday afternoon, I had a pretty big lump in my throat. I hate leaving my folks because we just don't see each other very often these days. And I'd have to say goodbye to my husband for the week...as well as see him say goodbye to our kids. It was hard and I cried silently so my son wouldn't catch on, but we made it through.
A week into it, I feel like my two kids and I are this little team, keeping down the fort while daddy's away. We play together, cook together, clean together, and every couple nights, we sleep together. But after having him home one night, and hearing my son ask why he hasn't been home and why isn't he working close to home anymore and if he's going with us to see his other grandparents this coming weekend, I realized that home is the four of us together. Caden made it clear that he feels differently when his daddy isn't home. He feels unsettled and confused. He kept saying that he misses his dad and doesn't understand why he doesn't come home every night.
He told me that he feels like he could cry most of the time. I just nodded and said that I feel the same way. This experience so far has been a clear reminder of just how sensitive and wonderful my son is. At the age of four, he has taught me so much about love and about being vulnerable. His openness about his feelings has made it easier for me to share my own feelings with my husband. I feel more comfortable saying the words: I miss you or I love you or in admitting that things just aren't the same-home isn't home-without my husband.
My son helps bond our family even more than my husband or I do. And it's pretty darn amazing.
Micro-communities.
10 years ago
